It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Geordie Version of Windows 10 may have accidentally been shipped outside of Newcastle.
If you have one of the Newcastle editions you may need some help understanding the commands.
The Newcastle edition may be recognised by looking at the loading screen. It reads Windiz 10 with a background picture of a Brown Ale bottle superimposed on a photograph of the Tyne Bridge. It is shipped with the Brown Ale screen saver.
ABOVE: An earlier edition also 'escaped' Newcastle boundaries.
The Recycle Bin is labelled 'Aal ya shite'
Dialup Networking is called 'Me mates'
Control Panel is known as 'How te fek aboot wi the settins'
The Hard Drive is referred to as 'Big disk'
OK = it's alreet
cancel = fek that
yes = aye
no= nee fuckin' chance
find = gan gerit ya fekkin sel'
goto = owa there
help = ah cannit dee it
stop = divvent move
start = hadaway and shite
settings = settins
programs = stuff that dis stuff
personal folder = me shite
Also note that Windiz 10 does not recognise capital letters or punctuation marks.
Some programs that are exclusive to Windiz 10:
tiperiter = a word processor
cullarin book = a graphics package
addin masheen = calculator
tunes = CD player
porn = Microsoft Internet Explorer
pikchas = a graphics viewer
dole money = accounting software
toon = a spreadsheet of Newcastle United FC's recent scores
bevvy = local off-licences by area code and price of Brown Ale
tax records = usually an empty file
Kappa tracksuit inventory = usually a 5 meg file
We regret any inconvenience it may cause if you received a copy of the Newcastle edition. You may return it to Microsoft for a replacement version.